How to Feed a Tabbycat, Alleycat, Housecat or Kitten

They will pester you as soon as you get home. I'm hungry, they will say. Feed me. You will want to feed them then. Don't. Don't show any weakness. Don't show any emotion. They can smell fear. Make sure you have food now, you don't want to buy it at night. Hide it, hunger can overcome anything. Wait until it is time. Ignore their pleas. A tabby will be loud, ignore it. A housecat you can expect to come to the track during the last lap, when they complain you know it's almost time. If you can close yourself in a room you should escape and feed them on time. Remember to feed them though or they'll kill you. You made a promise they will scream. Why do you do this to me. Pretend you don't hear them, but give them food. Escape while you can.